I don't want to be "that" Mom.
I want to be the Mom that squeezes the life out of each day with as much energy as she has, however much that might be. I want to bake and cook with my kids without worrying about the mess, I want to sit and stare at my new baby's eyes for hours trying to decide what color they will be, I want to sing crazy made up songs with my girls and do some crazy dancing along with it, I want to play legos and chase and trucks with my boys, I want to listen- really listen to my kids.. not just nod my head and hurry them through a story or an extra long dinner prayer, I want to be a person that gives best to the people I work with even though I may prefer to be home, and I want to be a good spiritual influence for my kids and husband . But most importantly- I want to do this all without the guilt of what my head is telling me I should be doing like laundry, dishes, cleaning, showering (seriously!), working out, writing thank you's, meal planning, or plucking my eyebrows lol!
It kinda sounds like I just want to sit around and play all day! It's so much more than that. I get that dishes laundry, cleaning, showering and plucking my eyebrows are all necessary activities in my day to day life but I want them to come second.. or 7th in our house. I want my kids to come before all the monotony of the day sucks me into what I should be doing to be "that" Mom. I want to be the Mom and am in public at home too!
People will often say to me "You are supermom" or "I don't know how you do it!" and honestly most times I either think or say... "if you only knew". I think most people think that because we have a lot of kids that that means I have it all together.. uh, not so much. I yell, I'm impatient, I stay in pj's all day, I forget to move the stupid elf 3 nights in a row, I forget snack day, I dont read the bible nearly enough with my kids or husband, I roll my eyes, I'm rude to waitresses, I disappoint my kids, I'm ungrateful.. I could go on and on here. I am anything but super but I am a Mom and that label I will take and wear proudly.
I know that the expectations of being the type of Mom that I want to be may too seem unrealistic but I would much rather be working towards being this Mom than "that" Mom :)