I don't want to be "that" Mom.

As a Mom there are so many unrealistic expectations that society sets for me from what I should look like to what I should be feeding my kids, but the more unrealistic expectations that are set are the ones we set for ourselves. The notion that we can be 15 places at once, looking like we just stepped out of the salon, have supper on the table at the same time each night after coming home from working or volunteering at school- it's pretty much ridiculous.

I don't want to be "that" Mom.

I want to be the Mom that squeezes the life out of each day with as much energy as she has, however much that might be. I want to bake and cook with my kids without worrying about the mess, I want to sit and stare at my new baby's eyes for hours trying to decide what color they will be, I want to sing crazy made up songs with my girls and do some crazy dancing along with it, I want to play legos and chase and trucks with my boys, I want to listen- really listen to my kids.. not just nod my head and hurry them through a story or an extra long dinner prayer, I want to be a person that gives best to the people I work with even though I may prefer to be home, and I want to be a good spiritual influence for my kids and husband . But most importantly- I want to do this all without the guilt of what my head is telling me I should be doing like laundry, dishes, cleaning, showering (seriously!), working out, writing thank you's, meal planning, or plucking my eyebrows lol!

It kinda sounds like I just want to sit around and play all day! It's so much more than that. I get that dishes laundry, cleaning, showering and plucking my eyebrows are all necessary activities in my day to day life but I want them to come second.. or 7th in our house. I want my kids to come before all the monotony of the day sucks me into what I should be doing to be "that" Mom. I want to be the Mom and am in public at home too!

People will often say to me "You are supermom" or "I don't know how you do it!" and honestly most times I either think or say... "if you only knew". I think most people think that because we have a lot of kids that that means I have it all together.. uh, not so much. I yell, I'm impatient, I stay in pj's all day, I forget to move the stupid elf 3 nights in a row, I forget snack day, I dont read the bible nearly enough with my kids or husband, I roll my eyes, I'm rude to waitresses, I disappoint my kids, I'm ungrateful.. I could go on and on here. I am anything but super but I am a Mom and that label I will take and wear proudly.

I know that the expectations of being the type of Mom that I want to be may too seem unrealistic but I would much rather be working towards being this Mom than "that" Mom :)

Muah!

** I dont at all want to make other people feel bad for trying to do it all, every family is different and we're all doing our best to try and make it work! Keep on keeping on Mama's!**

Fudgey Cheesecake Shake

I am on a roll today with the shakes.. the yummy, rich, filling and oh so yummy shakes! I love, love, love cheesecake.. it's my "thing". I get asked to bring cheesecake for pretty much all family gatherings and not only do I love the taste but it's fun to make too!!

After I made my Brownie Batter Shake my head was filled with new ideas for shakes that were THM friendly and since I already had some Rich Chocolate Fudge (pg 386 in the book) in the freezer I knew that would be the perfect addition to a cheesecake flavored shake. You could use whatever fudge that you have or want to make or even some skinny chocolate (pg 371). This is an S dessert or snack of you split it but a meal if you eat it on your own- it's very rich and filling and was hard for me to finish alone for lunch!!

Fudgey Cheesecake Shake

Ingredients:

1C Almond Milk

3oz Cream Cheese

2T Heavy Cream

1T Vanilla

1 1/2 t Truvia or sweetener of choice

1/4t Glucomannan

2oz fudge

6 ice cubes

Directions:

Add all ingredients to blender except fudge and ice and blend till combined.

Add 6 ice cubes and blend till you get a nice smooth consistency, 

you may need more of less ice depending on the size of you cubes.  

Add fudge and pulse until fudge chunks are as small as you'd like. 

Pour into large cup and enjoy!

 

Brownie Batter Shake and THM

A friend of mine that shares the same eating style as my family does (no refined sugar, white flour, preservatives or artificial flavors or colors) recommended a book to me that had totally changed the way she was thinking about food and eating recently called Trim Healthy Mama. I got the book a couple week ago, it's huge so it took some time to get through and to wrap my head around all the ideas but I've been full swing into it this week and have lost 3 pounds.. even with a Christmas party and a Bridal shower!

I've been eating high healthy fat meals of thick, rich shakes or smoothies in the morning, eggs and bacon with coconut oil or butter balanced with the occasional lower fat and high carb meals throughout the week. I have been so satisfied and full and have overall felt really good!

The basic principles of the book teaches you that your body burns fat or glucose (from carbs) for fuel and when you eat them both together you overload on fuel and then that fuel goes to your fat cells for storage. I have plenty of "fuel"storage lol! So ya just eat more of one fuel source (fat or carbs) each meal with protein, just not too close together. There is way more detail in the book and tons of other really good info and recipes but that's the just of it.

They talk about a couple different types of meals in the book, "S" or satifying meals are the meals higher in healthy fat and lower in carbs. "E" or energizing meals are higher in carbs and lower in fats. So when you see me post S or E recipes this is what I am referring to!

This is what I concocted this morning.. a Brownie Batter Shake!!
 

Yummy, thick, rich.. just like brownie batter!!

This shake is an "S" meal for sure. It could be used as an "S" snack if you shared it with a friend.. a very lucky friend! It is definitely filling, I had this for breakfast and am not hungry at all 2 hours later.. I'm nursing and am constantly hungry so that says a lot for this baby! If you don't have glucomannan you can make it without, it just adds additional creaminess and makes it even more brownie batter-like!You cannot taste the pumpkin or peanut butter at all so if you don't like either of those then don't let this turn you off, all you taste is pure brownie batter goodness!!

All the goodies you need for the yummy shake.

  Brownie Batter Shake

 Ingredients:

1C Unsweetened Almond Milk

1/2 C Canned Pumpkin

1T Peanut Butter (no sugar added)

2T Heavy Cream

1/4C Cocoa Powder

1 1/2 t Truvia or sweetener of choice

1/4 t Glucomannan

6 ice cubes

 Directions:

Add all ingredients to blender except ice cubes and pulse to combine. 

Add ice cubes and blend till you get a nice creamy consistency. 

You may have to adjust the amount of ice cubes depending on the size of you have. 

Pour into a large cup and enjoy!!

This shake is just so stinking good, hope you all enjoy! Take a minute to check out the rest of my blog and follow if you'd like!

It's all about Perspective

So many days I let stupid little things suck the joy right out of me right from the get go. I can feel it happening, my demands and sighs getting louder, my tolerance for shenanigans lowering and my eye rolling out of annoyance becoming more frequent.. geesh- who is this ornery old lady?! I let myself get wrapped up in the crazy morning routines of getting 3 kids ready for school, packing lunches and snacks and getting homework IN the bags along with breakfasts for 5 and breastfeeding the baby and now snow gear.. ugh.

There are plenty of people that would look at just our morning demands and give me a get out of jail free card for being ornery but it doesn't have to be that way. I can choose to be more joyful, tolerant, patient and loving towards the world in the morning and all day if I would just change my perspective.

I wake up thinking of all I need to do and what I expect of the kids in a pretty short amount of time and all of the ways that will probably go wrong even with my best intentions. Those days that I hop out of bed going a million miles an hour are the ones that I have to change my perspective on the things that I think are important, I have 2 girls that have to be woken with very gentle hands and voices or the day is pretty much shot. Because they are like waking hibernating bears I have to take my time waking them, dressing them, and gently reminding them of morning routines. I have to change from organized, on-time, get-stuff-done Mom to laid back, coddling, winging it Mom! Some mornings my girls' hair is laughable and their outfits look like I dressed them in the dark and they all had toast and honey for breakfast.. but we are all happy :)

A family picture taken in the afternoon with plenty of time to wake up and get happy :)

It's easy to let situations and surroundings dictate our perspective on life and while I too am totally guilty of this I need to make it as easy as choosing a better attitude, regardless of whats going on around me. I know I will never be one of those people who just walks around smiling just because I'm breathing but I can choose to smile when I make eye contact... and not avoid eye contact so I don't have to start a conversation in the grocery store- guilty as charged!!

So each day I will do my best to chose joy from the get go, it may be hard to find but I wake up to 6 really good reasons to look high and low! I will do my best to move the happiness gauge from someone pissed in my cheerios... which is a very real possibility in this house, to farting rainbows- that's always a good goal, right?!

Christmas Traditions.. or lack there of

I have good intentions every year to start some Christmas traditions.. it always seems so important that I do but it never happens! I've looked at tree decorations for each kid that they would think were neat and either I can't find one for each one of the kids that they would like or they are over $10 a piece.. no thank you- scrap that idea! I've thought about pj's for each of the kids but in reality they would rather not even wear pajama's most of the year so that seems silly. Scouting and cutting down the perfect tree after Thanksgiving sounds fun but then I think about the hassle it is to even have a tree with babies and we end up getting one maybe a week and sometimes just a couple days before Christmas!

Am I a scrooge, lazy or just not creative? Are my kids deprived of the Christmas spirit??

I don't think so. I LOVE Christmas and what is represents and the joy it brings my family but I know what I can handle. I know that I won't be able to keep up these time consuming "traditions", I am realistic and refuse to put myself and my husband under an enormous amount of pressure so that we can say we did the same thing every year.. at all costs. I'm sure that I disappoint my kids enough with the little things in life like not getting the snack they wanted or not reacting the way they were hoping to a picture that they drew (these things both happened already today!) so I don't need one more chance to ruin their day by forgetting to move the elf on a shelf the night before :)

This year we are in a teeny, tiny house that was just supposed to be for a couple months while we looked for a big ole farm house to buy.. eight months later and here we still are! We have a tornado manifested in a 19 months old and we have no idea where our Christmas decorations are packed away to let alone the Christmas tree stand! Will this be the the "Christmas with no tree".. not sure, maybe. Will the kids be scarred for life and never forgive us.. I hope not!! We still love them and Christmas but a tree just might not happen this year.

As I think back on past Christmas I think that there has to be some traditions that have just happened without us trying and here is what I can come up with...

**Last year we started the "something to you want, something you need, something you wear, something you read" gift idea for the kids and we're doing to again this year.. they will each get 4 present. This actually made things easier for me and the kids knew what to expect so we are doing that again this year!

I think they look pretty happy, even with only 4 presents :)

**We have plans to go to church Christmas morning.. there have been a couple years that it didn't happen but for the most part we try very hard to be there... when they each only have 4 presents to unwrap it makes it easier to get us all ready and get there too!!

**2 years in a row our tree fell over.. awesome tradition- nice work honey :)

In the middle of dinner.. crash!

This time we lost some bulbs in the fall!!

We always spend lots of time with ALL of our family! This means we have usually have 6-8 parties to go to but we have so much fun with both sides of our families that its worth the running around to make it to everywhere :)

Christmas with the Eisenga's.. flap hats anyone??

I know my of lack of Christmas traditions (or trees) will make some people sad for us.. but don't be, because it's not that we can't afford a tree or even more presents but it just doesn't make or break Christmas for us. To all of you families that have killer traditions that you love.. more power to you- keep it up, do what you love,  but for me.. I'm done being jealous of those things that others do and will happily celebrate our lack of traditions or the ones that accidentally happen :)

Cyber Monday!!

So.. yeah, I have done ZERO Christmas shopping at the actual stores. Having a new baby has given me a awesome excuse to be uber lazy and do all my shopping online which is why I love Cyber Monday.. although I hate the name "Cyber Monday" but that's just me- I'm easily annoyed I guess! I thought that I'd share some of the good deals that I'm taking advantage of.. there are soo many more but these are the sites that I shop from pretty regularly anyway.

American Eagle has 50% everything and free shipping with code 94C486V1

Gap & Old Navy have 40% off at Gap and 30% off at Old Navy with free shipping over $50 with code CYBER

Kohl's has 20% plus free shipping with no minimum with code CYBERSAVE

The Children's Place has 30% off and free shipping on all orders with code CYBERPLACE

Lands End has 30% off and free shipping over $50 with code WONDERLAND and pin 3050

I'm thinking all those codes and sites should keep my busy for awhile and hopefully I can check off almost everyone on my list and not have to leave my comfy chair and snugly Briggs! Happy Shopping :)

Giving Thanks

This Thanksgiving is different. While Thanksgiving always makes me a little emotional because I feel so blessed by so much, its even more so this year. Last week we lost my Grandma's sister and yesterday we lost a friend a such a young age. While it's pretty easy to be thankful for all that you have and the people that God has put in your life, its harder to be thankful for the relationships that once were, because it hurts to think of what could have been.

So this Thanksgiving I'm thankful that I'm able to help my family and friends in any way I can.. to help them morn, cry, laugh and to help them be thankful for the awesome times they had with Nita and Brent and not regret what they didn't get to say because they will get to say it someday in a place so much more wonderful than where we are today :)

Brent with some of his best friends- love this picture!!

A sweet picture of my Grandma and her sisters, 2 of whom are now gone

Mr. Humble Pie

Baby #6.. should be easy enough, right? Uh- wrong. When I went into labor around 5am I had it in my head I was going to have the picture perfect homebirth and that I'd be holding my little 8lb peanut by 8am after tolerable contractions and one good push.. even as I type that I laugh a little because I know that a lot of women would want to stab me in the eye if it actually did go that way but.. it pretty much did for baby #5 so I thought my expectations were realistic!

When he wasn't here by 8am I was annoyed, tired and frustrated. Contractions were rough and all I wanted was that urge to push so labor could be all over. My husband, Mom, cousin and Midwife were great,  just letting me do my thing.. even though I didn't want to be doing my thing any more! 9am rolled around and I was pushing, even though I remember my midwife mentioning that I wasn't quite fully dilated.. I didn't care, this boy was coming out. Two good, seriously hard pushes and he was out and I was so relieved and happy to have him in my arms!! Briggs Sullivan was here, all 9lbs 4oz of him!

I felt really good right after I had him but by about noon I felt so dizzy, nauseous, lightheaded, hot/cold and all around crappy that I could hardly sit up without feeling like I was going to pass out. I kinda thought I was being a wuss and that I needed to just suck it up.. so I did. My husband was the best nurse, getting me anything I needed and wanted but I was just down for the count. Things got a little better over the next couple days but I was still pretty out of it and now I felt like when I coughed I was going to lose an internal organ- awesome. Greg walked me to the bathroom for fear of me passing out... I felt a little like one of my patients at the nursing home with strict instructions not to get up by myself  lol! Turns out I had good reason to feel the way I did, my hemoglobin was 6.5 (it should be around 12)! My midwife got me on some good supplements and within another week or so I felt pretty good.. not normal, but good. Oh and  I can now cough, laugh and even sneeze without losing anything that I may want to stay in place.. glad that worked itself out!

The past 3 weeks have been hard but humbling. I needed this little guy to put me in my place and keep me there for a while. Honestly I am used to having a baby and getting on with life, taking pride that giving birth doesn't phase me much. Well it turns out birth does phase me.. and it should :) While it drove me nuts and even brought me to tears at times that I couldn't do all I wanted to do, I started to welcome that time at home sitting and watching the busyness that a house full of kids brings with it. I appreciated meals from church, family and friends when I normally would have declined, I let me Mom do my laundry, my Grandma take the older kids and said no to visitors at times. I ate a huge piece of humble pie.. and I kinda liked it.

Photo by Kasey Hunt Photography